• "I grew up in a funny way." - Gordon Ramsay Tweet
• "If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers Tweet
• "It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai." - Criss Angel Tweet
• "The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it." - Arthur Smith Tweet
• "If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?" - Robin Williams Tweet
• "It's funny that I got to do 'On the Road' because the thing that had the biggest impact on me growing up was reading books. I was very inspired by the book and this spirit of Dean Moriarty and how envious we all are of somebody who can be that carefree." - Garrett Hedlund Tweet
• "I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do." - Will Rogers Tweet
• "It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks." - Joe Rogan Tweet
• "I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own." - Les Dawson Tweet
• "People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be." - Philip Seymour Hoffman Tweet