• "I love weird or funny or beautiful sentences Joy Williams could write a microwave-oven manual and I'm sure I'd love it, because the sentences would be tuned up like music." - Karen Russell Tweet
• "You're only as good as your last haircut." - Fran Lebowitz Tweet
• "I follow the most random people on Twitter. I follow famous people like Khloe Kardashian, who surprisingly makes really funny tweets all the time." - Chloe Moretz Tweet
• "Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for." - Will Rogers Tweet
• "It's not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn't have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn't have much to do with reality." - Elizabeth Gilbert Tweet
• "A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times." - Billy Corgan Tweet
• "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." - Steve Martin Tweet
• "The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously." - Demetri Martin Tweet
• "I rant, therefore I am." - Dennis Miller Tweet
• "No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was." - Annie Leibovitz Tweet